Tuesday, Becky reaching to the computer screen, to the girl with the challenging eyes. Cloe, 9 years old, seven siblings most of them in Scotland, needs a forever home. Steve and Becky are looking at a website of children available for adoption.“ You’d think they’d be all puppy eyed wouldn’t you.” Becky sees herself in Chloe’s eyes and story. Steve sees her too. Please pick Cloe, please please, I say to my screen.
I know it wouldn’t work – not right now. Becky’s on too much of an emotional rollercoaster, in an emotional wringer, whatever way you want to put it. She’s had too little time to get used to the thought of having a baby, then losing a baby, then losing another she didn’t even yet know had existed, then having to think about never being able to carry a baby to term at all, ever. A bad womb, a womb that kills babies. Not an easy thing to accept about your body for any woman, ever.
It’s too soon to take a 9 year old as your own. You’ve got too many open wounds, and likely so does she. It’s too soon to hope that your wounds can help heal hers, and hers yours. But Becky, having psyched herself up for motherhood, wants a baby now! And, if she can’t adopt a baby, this little girl has spoken to her.
Becky would be a perfect match for Chloe, for pretty much any child who has knocked around in the child welfare system. She could both understand and not be taken in. But it’s too soon. Chloe would be a rebound child.
In a follow-up scene, Steve recognizes that and also gets cold feet for Amy’s sake. He doesn’t articulate it verywell, but I see his point. It’s one thing bringing a baby into the world of another child. That child is the older sibling then. It’s a different thing bringing in a child that’s older than the already present child. Different dynamic for everybody. I think Becky could cope, I’m not sure Steve could.
And at this point, they haven’t even thought about the vetting process they’d have to undergo. They see themselves as a stable married couple, sure, with some ups and downs in their past. I shudder to think what a social worker would see. Hayley and Roy thought they were ideal adoptive parents too, and so did most of the viewing world. But Social Services didn’t think so. I maintain Social Services was wrong and some children and a wonderful couple have paid for that error, but it’s the child services people that get to make the rules. I don’t want to see Becky crushed by those rules too.
In another story – my assessment of Audrey’s maturity was wrong. She doesn’t totally understand ‘escort’ protocol. I felt sorry for herand embarrassed for her at the ball and terrified by her when she went to Rita’s house on the attack. But wow! Tuesday’s confrontation wasn’t a cat fight, it was tigresses going at it! And the dress Audrey wore to the ball. She looked so beautiful. I hate where this story seems to be going but Audrey and Rita, and Claudia, have been magnificent. And poor Emily, caught in the middle of Audrey and Rita – “I’m not declaring war on Poland, luv,” Audrey said. Perfect.