Tag Archives: Hayley Cropper

Corrie Street Oct. 26/14

A Day in a Life

mr-mrs-r-cropperA year ago, Roy was in Blackpool with Hayley. This year, the hotel sends a cheery notice addressed to them both, offering a discount should they return. A lot can change in a year, as Roy says.

Putting the hotel’s unwanted solicitation out of his mind, he plans this year’s trip to Blackpool – to scatter Hayley’s ashes. He asks Tyrone and Fiz to accompany him. Why, I don’t know. Roy has unending patience if he roy-wading-in-sea a day in blackpoolcould tolerate Fiz’s fussing, flapping and incessant talking. She and Tyrone had not brought the girls, something Fiz regretted as she looked at the lovely, and very cold, sea. I don’t think the presence of two small children could have been more distracting than Fiz even if they tried.

In a Fizless moment, Roy and Tyrone watched an elderly couple come near on the beach. The old roy-watches-old-couplelady nattered at the man about being careful to not hurt himself as he tried to unfold a chair. Roy stepped up and asked if he could help. He unfolded one and Tyrone the other. Then they went on their way, leaving the couple bickering in the way that couples who have been together a long lifetime do. Roy saw what could have been, I suppose, what he and Hayley would have been doing years hence, if only.

fiz-tyrone-and-roy-blackpoolFiz, with a tray of teas, caught up with them and launched into her story about the lineup at the tea stand. She continued yammering about how fast Roy was walking, she couldn’t keep up, was going to spill the tea. Tyrone took the tray from her, thanks be to Jesus, so she had one less thing to yap about.

roy-says-he-will-not-scatter-ashesRoy sat on a bench and, once Fiz shut up, told them that, despite Hayley’s wishes, he was not going to scatter her ashes. They may not be her, but they were all he had left and he was keeping them.

Back at home, after a truly difficult day at the seaside, Roy discovers his café and flat had been burgled. Maybe a group of nasty teenage boys who have been hanging around harassing him? His photo albums and model roy-and-anna-in-wrecked-flattrains were trashed, everything scattered and destroyed. He put Hayley’s ashes back in the cabinet and went downstairs. Despite a new lock, he reinforced the door with furniture.

Corrie Street Feb. 16/14

One and a half minutes:  the length of time Roy spoke at Hayley’s funeral.  His words dark-cornerencompassed their love, their not so easy road toward happiness together, his devastation at being without her, and his anger at her choosing to leave him.  What his words didn’t say, his face did.

The late Sir John Betjeman, British poet laureate, said about the writing and acting on Coronation Street:  “Not a word too many.  Not a gesture needless.”  That is Roy, as David Neilson and the writers presented him during Hayley’s illness, death and maybe especially in his unintended eulogy.

roy-looking-at-coffinRoy is angry at Hayley, angry that she is gone and that she did it deliberately.  He wanted as much time as possible with her, no matter what that time might cost her in pain and fear.  He couldn’t express his anger while she was still alive.  But after her death, he could and did.  The messages she had left for him – a to-do list, the photograph album, the words of “what Hayley wanted” from the lady who will conduct the service – all increased his anger and his feeling of his life and needs being sidelined by “what Hayley wanted.”

colourful-coffinIt all boils up at the funeral that he did not want to attend.  The music of Queen, who Hayley liked and Roy didn’t.  Roy looks at the organic materials coffin holding Hayley’s body and fumes, as Fiz talks and cries about how wonderful Hayley was.  He interrupts; he’s going to tell the truth about Hayley, she was not a saint, was not perfect.

Then he looks at the coffin again, and his face changes.  The love comes back in his eyes and he talks about what Hayley meant to him.  The anger is gone, although his loneliness and bereavement are not.  He sits down, spent, and the service continues.  It ends and the final music is Hayley’s choice again, of course.  It is a choice she made for Roy:  Bach’s daffs-on-coffinConcerto for Two Violins and she had told the pastor why she chose it.  She understood Roy’s explanation of its perfection of harmonic ‘voice’ and she picked it as a reminder to him of the harmony of their two human voices.

After he has had a chance to get away from the cacophony of grief and solicitude that has surrounded him in Weatherfield, he will come back to the photograph album that Hayley made for him.  Then, and until then, he will grieve in his own way.  If he did go to see his mother, I think she is the best person he could have chosen to understand his mourning.

The actions and characters of this story are of course fictional.  But being fictions roy-seatedprovides a buffer perhaps, allowing us to absorb the realities of the emotions expressed, of love and loss, sorrow and fear, and anger over natural and human decisions.

Corrie Street Feb. 9/14

bedroomCarla and Anna in Hayley and Roy’s room, afterwards.  Their shock, realizing Hayley is dead.  She is curled in Roy’s arms.  He isn’t aware they’re even in the room.  They see the glass on the bedside table, used.  They know what happened although they say not a word to each other or Roy.

anna-puts-glass-awayAnna takes the glass and washes it.  She didn’t hear the stern warning Hayley gave Roy:  don’t touch the glass, this was my action alone.  Anna finds Fiz at the Rovers and breaks the news to her and all in the pub.  (In the pub tableau of small groups assimilating the news, especially poignant was the thought-filled sadness of Emily, Rita, Dennis, Norris and Deirdre.  They all know first-hand how it feels to lose the person closest to you.)

When Fiz goes to Roy’s, you see the differences in how people handle crises and who roy-with-hayleymight be actually of more help.  Carla and Anna knew something was up even before Hayley took her fatal drink.  Both felt Hayley had acted oddly the last time they had seen her.  Anna had some warning; Roy had told her weeks ago that Hayley planned to kill herself.  So let’s focus on Carla and Fiz.  Neither of them knew Hayley’s intentions.

Carla had an uneasy feeling from when Roy wheeled Hayley in to the factory for an evening visit.  Just out to take the air, Hayley what-I-wanted-to-saysaid, but Carla knew something was up.  With Fiz, Hayley specifically asked her to come with Tyrone and the children.  Fiz came in her lunch break, Tyrone had to stop a job he was in the middle of, and they hauled the kids out of daycare.  Baby Ruby had a sniffle so they didn’t want her near Hayley.  Hayley had to shout give me that baby, an unpleasant scene that Hayley felt bad about after.  Despite these uncharacteristic actions, Fiz saw nothing worrisome.

carla-and-anna-exchange-looksSeeing Hayley so unexpectedly dead, Carla put two and two together very quickly. She and Anna stood quietly with quick looks at each other as if communicating how best to deal with Roy and what they knew, and with Fiz.  Fiz howled about how upset she was, if only she’d known, what she’d wanted to say, she’d thought there was time, etc.  Roy felt compelled to say “sorry” to Fiz.  As if her comfort was more important than his, even Hayley’s.

carla-anna-with-royIn the aftermath, Carla was there, mentally organizing what needed to be done and carefully watching Roy. She stood quietly, spoke of practical matters when warranted, touched Roy only briefly when it seemed appropriate.  Fiz followed him like his shadow, glommed to him, saying what can I do to help, I’m so upset, and on and on.  Not for a second did she back off, listen to Roy or even truly look at him, or stop imposing her needs and wishes on him.

The irony of this is that it is Carla who is believed by others, and herself, to be no good in an emotional crisis and to lack empathy.  Fiz is thought by others, and herself, to be the roy-listens-to-fiz-cryepitome of caring and sharing, in tune with the emotional life around her.  Especially with Roy and Hayley, it is Fiz who has the longer and closer history.  But in a crisis of these proportions, I know whom I’d want around me, and I think Roy would agree:  Carla.  Fiz would make me want to jump off a cliff.

Corrie Street Feb. 2/14

When the vanload of strawberries for Hayley arrived, all I could think of was olives – cases and cases arriving at the Bistro.  A continuing joke, with olives popping up hayley-first-strawberrieseverywhere there was a Platt.   Please, oh please, this can’t happen with the strawberries.  The out-of-season berries are the only food Hayley has been able to eat.  But they are unavailable.  Possibly Hayley’s appetite for them has gone as well.  But finding strawberries becomes a mission, a way of doing something for Hayley.  For her friends and Roy, it’s a way to take action and thereby maybe stave off her death.

But I feared her seeing those piled-up crates of strawberries, filling up the café.  What would that do to her?   Knowing the effort, time and money they had spent to show her they care.  How can she reciprocate other than by eating her way through them?  She saw them:  I expected to strawberriessee her throw up.

How is this going to end?  Are we going to have flats of strawberries appearing at Hayley’s funeral?  Will a moldy, rotting pint of berries appear on a café windowsill weeks from now?  Please make them go away!  But don’t let them be wasted.  That alone would kill Hayley, watching good food go to waste.  Take them to the soup kitchen!  Where’s helpful-Hannah Sophie when you need her?

make-a-suggestionAnd there’s Emily Bishop.  She sees lights on in the kitchen and comes to the door.  It’s a strawberry party.  Smoothies, daiquiris – anything and everything in which strawberries can be used.  She suggests jam.  Of course, and what a wonderful idea.  So Mrs. Bishop oversees Fiz, Jenna, Kirk, Roy, Carla and whoever else is there in a production line of boiling and bottling.  Mary comes in with jars, her mother’s prize-winning preserves recipe and a whole lot of attitude.  Emily makes room ffilling-jarsor her at the stove.  She also tries to keep Carla occupied so her culinary ineptitude doesn’t endanger the actual cooking.

They had a great time.  Hayley came down to see what the noise was about.  Her doing so covered the bases, addressed my concerns.  She saw her friends having fun and doing something useful – all due to their love for her.  Mary turned it into a competition, of course, and asked Hayley to judge the winner between jam and preserves.  I recall her doing this before, taste-testasking Hayley to choose in a cook-off that Mary spontaneously created.  This time, as in the past, Hayley declared it a tie.  Still, it’s a refreshing indicator of Mary’s acceptance of the vagaries of life (and maybe her self-absorption) to not let the spectre of death stop her from putting someone on the spot.  Hayley probably appreciated being treated normally.

cute-little-jarsThe jam is a testament of love for Hayley and it will remain, an edible memorial to her.

Hayley Patterson Cropper

Hayley became a cornerstone of Coronation Street in her 16-year tenure.  She was brought on as a side story, maybe a funny story:  itv.com-roy-hayley-blackpoolRoy, resident odd duck, finds a ladylove, and turns out the lady is a man.  A quirky tale for a quirky character.  But Hayley caught viewers’ attention and affection and the powers that be had the good sense to run with it.

We saw Hayley taunted and rebuffed.  We saw even Roy have trouble accepting that the woman he loved was born a man.  We saw his acceptance of that, and of her.  We watched tvweek-roy-hayley-covertheir first wedding become a ‘celebration’ instead of a legally binding marriage, then years later we watched their legal marriage.  We witnessed Roy’s words:  “We have remained still and the world has turned to meet us.”

What we never learned much of was Hayley’s backstory, her life before she came to the Street.  She has talked a bit about her parents and her life as Harold, but we never met anyone from that time.  Christian, the son she had fathered when still Harold and had not known about, is the only person from her past who has been part of her story.  He brought up issues about a child not knowing his parentage and then finding out that ‘dad’ is a now a woman.

But I think Hayley, when going through the process of deciding on a sex change, must have known people in the same position as she.  No one could go through such a profound psychological and physical process, even trauma, without becoming aware of, and a part of, a community.  Hayley is a loner, and likely would never have been part of any club scene, either as Harold or Hayley.  But political or socio-psychological activism of the Hayley-Cropper-1998-mirror.co.uk_tv_tv-newstype that used to be called ‘consciousness-raising’?  That fits Hayley’s nature.  The only people who truly know what it is to be trans-gendered, in your mind and your daily life, are trans-gendered people and others also stigmatized for their sexual orientation.  That is why the current definitional term, LGBT, includes all.

Obviously, from her dress style and make-up, Hayley was not attracted to the silks and satins of being a woman.  She cannot, by any stretch, be called flamboyant.  You know that under her sensible skirts and cardies, she is wearing serviceable white cotton from Marks and Sparks, not the lacy products of Underworld.  However, she knows how it feels to present your inner self in the wrong body and wrong garb.  A chance to show that side of Hayley’s life journey would have been in the story of Marc/Marcia, Audrey’s transvestite beau.  He was happy as a man but liked wearing the fripperies of female fashion.  We saw his friends and support group, in scenes where he took Audrey to clubs where he and his friends hung out.  Audrey did try to understand, marcia-audrey-virginmedia.com_tvradio_did listen to the wives of his cross-dressing friends.  But why did she not talk to Hayley?  It may not be part of the trans experience that Hayley was part of, but she would have insights, and she knows Audrey.  I looked forward to Hayley explain how it feels to not match societal gender definitions.  But, alas, Marc took his blonde wig and disappeared off our screens.

When Hayley’s story first came out, I was disappointed that a real transgendered woman had not been cast in the part.  It struck me as appropriation of voice, no matter how much consultation was done.  It still is darkening up a white actor to play the Indian in a Western.  But over time, I pretty much forgot that – not that Hayley was transgendered, Sylvia looks askance at Hayley as she explainsjust that the actress wasn’t.  I don’t know if that’s a good thing.  I think Hayley did a lot for dispelling preconceptions and misconceptions about transgender issues.  I doubt if anyone applauded occasional wisecracks about ‘Harold’.  Hayley had become part of our collective family.  So what if she had once been a man?  That’s good for sure, that she had become central to our hearts and a pillar of all that is honourable for both audience and the Street community.

But we should not be allowed to totally forget her struggle, the struggle faced by transgendered people still every day.  It is good that she brought it up, when thinking about her impending death.  Her fear that, under the influence of morphine, her mind 16_10_CORO_ROY_HAYLEY_NIGHTwould revert to being Harold was very real and very sobering.  It seemed even Roy couldn’t really understand her terror.  It never was fully aired between them.  Maybe it will linger in our minds, something to ponder when we remember Hayley and all she has taught us.

Corrie Street Jan. 19/14

you-will-have-me-to-answer-toWhat was rather beautiful this week was Liz telling Peter what’s what in her pub.  She followed him to the men’s room to have a few words with him.  Those words were at first demure; it’s my responsibility as landlady to look after my employees etc.  Then she got more specific, and grabbed him around the throat and told him to stop messing about with Tina.  Oh, thank you Liz!

liz(A note about Liz – I think she is becoming a landlady in the mold of Bet Lynch with a bit of Annie Walker mixed in.  Her hair has memories of Bet’s piled locks but her dress of late is a bit more refined.  In all, it’s a good look; authoritative with a bit of glamour and excess, reminiscent of Corrie past.)

Whether Peter will listen to her is another matter.  It’s not likely Tina will listen either, to herself or Liz.  Both Peter and Tina seem set on a crash course for disaster.  It’s in keeping with his character, and normally wouldn’t be for Tina.  But she has had a horrible year so it is not too far a stretch to see her coming totally off the rails.  We have watched appalled as she zeroes in on Peter, knowing, as does she, that her “attraction” to him is an obsession destructive to her, him and Carla.  Ain’t no good going to come out of it.  But it hasn’t stopped her.

tina-and-peter“Something rather beautiful” was Peter’s answer to Tina’s question “what have we done?” as they lay together in bed.  What they had done was a quickie in Peter’s marital bed while Carla (his bride of what, a month?) was out.  The preceding scene – the one that showed us why Carla was out – magnified the ick factor of this.

Carla was visiting Hayley.  Sick, frightened and depressed, Hayley was in bed with the Carla-Hayley-talkcovers pulled over her head, absorbing her doctor’s prognosis of weeks to live.  She didn’t want to see anyone.  Carla barged in over Roy’s protests.  She got in bed with Hayley and, lying covered up side by side, they talked.  Hayley cried and Carla cried and consoled her.  It was the best thing she could have done.  She and Hayley comforting each other in their sadness was truly something beautiful.

peter-cleaningShe came home emotionally drained and distraught about the apparently imminent loss of someone who has become a very important friend to her.  She found Peter busily cleaning the apartment.  What a wonderful man!  He’d even put a load of laundry in – the bed linen.

Corrie Street Jan. 12/14

It was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won’t see another one
And then he sang a song, the Rare Auld Mountain Dew
I turned my face away, and dreamed about you…

the-pogues-festively-singChristmas in the Rovers, Mary sang this but her voice trailed off after the second line.  The look on Hayley’s face brought her back to the reality that Hayley indeed would not see another one.  Mary thought of the Pogues’ song when she asked Liz about Tina’s whereabouts.  Was she in the drunk tank?

cop-holds-kylieA fight had started in the Rovers and moved out to the Christmas card beautiful street. Everyone watched it, including the coppers who were there to see Sally about her snatched purse.  They arrived just in time to pull Kylie and Tina apart.  Kylie was hauled off to the drunk tank, her sparring partner Tina was not.  Tracey was there too, and quite willing to punch someone’s lights out – anyone’s – but didn’t get the chance.

hayley-roy-bus-stopLater by the bus stop, Hayley threw a handful of snow at Roy as he looked at the schedule, confirming the times of the Wayfarer.  He was distracting her with small talk, in an OCD kind of way.  While coming home from the Rovers, she had needed to stop due to an attack of pain.

Neighbours returning from or going wherever saw her lobbing snowballs at Roy and joined in and a full-scale snowball fight developed.  A laughing Hayley watched from her seat on the bench. When she was roy-hayley-look-back-at-streetrecovered, Roy extricated himself from the snowball pelting (feeling relieved for himself and Hayley) and they walked home.  Hayley said it was the best Christmas ever.  The others went on playing.

There was enough snow to build snowmen.  Sinead ran to the pub and asked for clothes, and Rita snowman-from-windowdonated Norris’ old coat.  Ches said he could find the other coat they needed.

Tucked up on the couch at home, Hayley watched her new dvd about Amsterdam.  Roy made tea and prowled the flat.  He looked out the window, and grinned.  He beckoned Hayley over to look.

snow-croppersAcross the road beside the bus stop, were two snow people.  One wore a red jacket and wooly scarf.  The other wore a beige jacket and had a carrying case slung over its shoulder.  Hayley and Roy Cropper immortalized in snow.

Corrie Street Dec. 29/13

My husband and I bet on the decision Hayley would make about giving Christian the hayley-meets-grandchildren£5,000 he had asked for. He said that, knowing Christian was manipulating, threatening and bribing her for it, she wouldn’t give him the money.  I said that, knowing he was manipulating, threatening and bribing her, she would give it to him.

My husband thought that Hayley, in her moral surety of right and wrong, not-going-towould be strong enough to simply say no; she would not be bribed by anything or anyone, including grandchildren.  He believed she would not allow anyone, including Christian, to back her in a corner and use her guilt, love and generosity of spirit in such a blatant rip-off.

I thought she’d give him the money because she didn’t want the insult to be given voice, to be out there requiring acknowledgement.  I thought that, despite knowing that she was oh-yeahbeing bribed and bullied, she would choose to swallow that hurt in order to avoid another larger one to be said aloud.  If she said no, she’d still know the manipulation he had attempted and she would have to hear the words she feared he’d say; you owe me this, you were never there for me, you can’t be a father to me and you’re certainly not my mother.  Those words plus the knowledge of his manipulation would live in her mind forever.  Why run that risk?  Justify the money as an inheritance to your child, whether but-you-didn'tdeserved or not, think about your own feelings of guilt toward him, and move on – lalalala I can’t hear you say nasty things about me.

But Christian turned nasty even before she had told him yes or no about the money.  I wanted to change my betting position.  When he started the accusations of ‘you owe me’ and the like, I thought she’d say (as I think I then would have) sorry, changed my mind due to having to listen to your vitriol.  But she is a hayley-with-chequebookbetter person than I.  Despite the figurative slap in the face he gave her, she took out her chequebook and asked “are you sure that’s enough”.  I think church-going young Sophie could learn some lessons in true Christian behaviour from the non-religious Hayley.  She understands what turn the other cheek means.

Corrie Street Dec. 22/13

Peter and Carla’s wedding was fabulous – beautiful location, beautifully garbed guests, carlastunning bride, gorgeous groom.  Tension everywhere, for viewers and characters alike.  Would Peter succumb to the many glasses of champagne attractively arranged right beside him?  Would he succumb to Tina, also always attractively arranged right beside him?  Turns out, no to the former and yes, or at least way too close, to the latter.

But the scene that I woke up in the make-a-fresh-startmiddle of the night worrying about was the closing minutes of the week.  Christian coming to make amends with Hayley.  He’d appeared a few times, always missing Hayley but always running into Fizz who would puff herself up into her biggest mamma Grizzly look.  Protecting Hayley from the hurt that comes with Christian.  Breaking Hayley’s confidence by telling him about her cancer.  Warning Roy whenever Christian was about.  Roy posted like a sentry hovering-royto block Christian’s access to Hayley.  Oh let him be, I pleaded, don’t you know how important it is to Hayley that she reconcile with her son.  Let her decide if that’s possible or not.

Finally she got the chance.  Roy allowed Christian to see her.  Sensibly, she sent Roy out of the room so he wasn’t standing over her shoulder like a guard dog snarling every time Christian twitched or opened his mouth.  It photos-of-kidslooked so promising, their discussion.  Christian’s apology for not understanding, for not being willing to discuss, maybe forgive.  He had pictures of his wife and kids.  Then the wonderful moment:  ‘would you like to meet them?’  My heart melted, just like Hayley’s did.

five-thousand-poundsThen he gives the caveat, the kick in the teeth.  Thing is, he got in debt while unemployed and a family costs a lot to provide for.  £5,000 should cover it, could she give him that.  It’s for the kiddies after all.  Where’s the guard dog and mama Grizzly when you need them?  Christian, I guess, had hayley-listens-to-money-requestdecided Hayley might be the answer to his financial woes, and a quick parade of the kiddies would be enough to get her help.  Even after learning she was dying, he still went ahead with his bait and hook plan.  My heart froze, just as it looked like Hayley’s did.  You are a bad’un, Christian.

Back to the wedding, for a quibble about writing.  We knew there had to be a Peter and tina-and-peterTina too-close encounter.  It came after the bride had collapsed in a drunken but elegant heap on the dance floor.  After she, still in her lovely gown, is tucked up in bed, Peter returns to the empty ballroom.  The detritus of the party is all that’s left.  We’ve seen Roy and Hayley arrive home.  Party animals Sally and Tim have had time for another roll in the hay at home.  But Tina is still lurking about the empty manor house?  Ok, she and Peter have to steal a forbidden kiss.  But Tina is not a stalker, and only a stalker would have remained after all the other guests had left.  The scene would have been more believable if we had seen extras dancing in the background, maybe through a order-of-servicedoorway in another room and heard the DJ playing “save the last dance for me” or something to indicate that, no matter how late it is, some people are still there partying.  Fizz should have been spotted, since she had been insistent earlier on overseeing Tina’s movements.  A wonderful and horrible scene with Peter and Tina, but one marred by unbelievability.

Corrie Street Dec. 1/13

Every moment with Roy and Hayley on Tuesday was perfect.  Roy learns to accept I-will-support-youanother’s choice or, as he sees it, to lie.  At Jane’s funeral, he learns that her husband didn’t like her choices for the service or share her religious faith.  But he did exactly as she wished.  Because that’s what she wanted and it was her death after all, and sometimes lying is the best thing to do, he told Roy.

Roy frets over those words and finally tells Hayley he supports her and understands her decision.  It’s hard.  He doesn’t accept it and he cannot will himself to feel comfortable with a lie.  But he tries.

so-this-spoilsIn an earlier argument, Roy had enumerated things on which they disagree so Hayley wants to explore them.  One was how to poach eggs.  Roy is of the free-form school; create a vortex in a pot of boiling water and pour the egg into it, allowing the movement to create the shape.  Hayley uses an aid to ensure the ideal shape, a metal ring that holds the egg while the water cooks it.  To show her willingness to throw off her preferences, she tosses the poaching ring into the thrift shop bag.  (Note:  neither of them would ever throw something usable into the garbage.)

He goes out for something, just to busy himself away from a very happy Hayley.  Anna only-you-can-decidesees him and they talk.  He tells her his decision and, hallelujah, she says the right things.  She recognizes how hard it is for him to understand Hayley’s choice and to pretend that he supports her.  Without knowing what Jane’s husband said, she reinforces his message: sometimes you have to suck it up and do something you don’t like for someone else’s sake – and this is that time.

Hayley-and-albumsHe returns home to find Hayley surrounded by music albums, listening to Bach’s Air on the G String.  She struggles to see the appeal.  You can’t dance or sing along to it.  She asks Roy to explain and she listens to him and the music.  Maybe if she keeps listening, she will feel its peace and beauty.  They move to another of Roy’s choices – Deep Purple with the London Philharmonic.  Roy discusses Deep-Purplehow and why that album moved him when he first heard it as a teenager.  I hope, should the album be reissued, that his words are included in a cover ‘blurb’ or review of it.  It made me want to hear it.

Hayley then gives her picks; songs that make you want to dance.  She illustrates great-funwith the music of Queen.   The death of Freddie Mercury looms over her joy in the music.  But she vividly explains why it makes her feel alive and happy.  Even Roy is unable to keep his body parts still, bobbing his head as he listens – which was exactly Hayley’s point.

The music, Freddie Mercury and Roy’s apparent acceptance of her choice to end her life allow her to express her own fears and doubts.  She Hayley-cryingcries for her life and death.  Poor Roy doesn’t know what to do.  Fortunately, he doesn’t do anything but hold her while she sobs.

Here’s a great analysis of the character of Hayley.  Thanks, Bluenose Corrie, for the link.