Kirkys Turkys

Interspersed amid the turmoil, a little tale of giving and goodness unfolded this week thanks to our Kirk and young Craig. The cardboard sign he made – Kirkys Turkys – doesn’t that alone warm the cockles of your heart?

Beth wants a fancy necklace for Christmas. To make the money, Kirk goes into the turkey selling business. He’s really not good at it so Beth’s son Craig helps him out for a cut. Then Chesney, indirect source of the turkeys, has reason to think they are stolen goods and tells Kirk they have to get rid of them fast.

Turkeys, frozen in blue plastic wrappers, bob on the canal. Kirk says that ice is lighter than water so they won’t sink unless they thaw which they won’t do in December Manchester waters. When Chesney asks, in amazement, why Kirk hadn’t told him that earlier, Kirk says he’s always wrong about things. Since Ches hadn’t said anything, he figured he must be wrong on that too. He wasn’t. The mystery of the floating turkeys made the front page of the Gazette.

But Kirk has taken people’s money and now has no turkeys. So he goes to Freshco and buys more at a higher price. He arranges delivery of Emily’s turkey, explaining it will be larger than she had ordered. But not to worry, he won’t charge her extra. She is pleased. Now Norris won’t be able to complain about no leftovers.

Where will they live?

Even more in debt now, he worries about money for both the necklace and for a deposit on a flat because Peter has given Beth her notice. Kirk despondent is a very sorry sight. Then Beth runs up and smothers him with kisses. She found the necklace hidden in Craig’s dresser drawer. Isn’t Kirk the clever one, trying to hide something from her. Kirk has no idea what she’s talking about. Later, telling Craig, the light bulb slowly comes on. You bought it, Kirk says. Craig admits that he sold his iPod so he could buy the necklace for Kirk to give Beth.

Necklace solved, but a place to live not. Kirk asks Maria if they can stay with her for a few days. Absolutely not. How can Kirk tell Beth that his sister said no?

Snowflakes fluttering down, the odd little family sit on the Maxine Peacock Memorial Bench, Santa hats and earmuffs on, eating fish and chips while Beth says how wonderful is life and how wonderful is Christmas going to be!

Kirk tries to put them off Maria’s place. The telly’s broke, it’s cramped, Marcus cooks fancy food. Just as Beth realizes there is something he’s not telling her, Maria comes outside and begrudgingly says you can stay with us for a few days. Beth is happy, Kirk is relieved. And they look forward to their perfect Christmas together.

And back to Kirsty

On the week’s story of horror, the escalation of Kirsty’s violence and regret has been riveting and Tyrone’s fear and loathing of her palpable. Fiz has, well, annoyed me. I can’t decide if her inability to stay the hell away from him for five minutes so he doesn’t get beaten to death is believable for her character or if it is evidence of plot-driven writing to hurry along the big confrontation. If that question even comes to mind, I think it shows plot contrivance.

My husband summarized this storyline very well: “Reminds me of the skit with Carol Burnett and Tim Conway, a wrong number in the middle of the night.” I watched it and, yes, absolutely. Here it is.