Heavrin McDonald

Ernest Heavrin McDonald, 24 Oct 1884 to 04 Nov 1885 Curdsville, Daviess County, Kentucky. Buried McCain Cemetery, Curdsville. Fifth child of Hiram Columbus and Sarah Clementine (Brogan) McDonald.

Sarah wrote the private eulogy below after the death of her 11 month old son Heavrin. Sarah was Marji Stewart’s “Mamaw,” mother of her mother Elizabeth McDonald Smock. I found the two pages in my mother-in-law Marji’s genealogy files. Not good photocopies but I picked out the writing as best I could. Warning: it’s about the death of an infant.

Sometimes, especially when I’m updating a family tree here, I think maybe I shouldn’t include the infants and very young children who died. Some of them have no names, sometimes no dates. Just infant, or stillborn, or died young. When length of the tree matters, either due to WordPress limits or just ease of navigating for readers, I feel maybe I should pare the entries down to those to reached adulthood or childhood at least. But I have never been able to bring myself to do it.

Even if the only child that I know of for a couple is one who died in infancy, I feel that baby should be marked for him or herself and also for those parents. So that we know that they went through that terrible loss. Sometimes, entering a family in my database, I’ll see their first child died, then their second. Sometimes more. I wonder, did they want to swaddle a surviving child in cotton wool to preserve it, keep it safe, keep it alive.

So I enter all those Baby Whomevers. Hopes and dreams were wrapped up in them. Tracing genealogy is more, I think, than just names and dates and progeny – the begats. It’s also the happiness, and anguish, felt by real-life people.

It happens that I know a fair bit about Sarah Brogan McDonald. Marji was close to her grandmother, and wrote a lot about her. She also told me a lot about her. But finding this note – these broken-hearted pages – has touched me more than anything else. Here she is a grieving mother. She already had four children and three stepchildren when little Heavrin was born. She doesn’t ignore them in this letter to Heavrin, but she grieves him mightily.

In Memoriam of Heavrin McDonald

Little Heavrin was born on this Oct the 4th 1884. He grew to be a bright and beautiful boy, so loving and good, entwining himself around the hearts of everyone he met. He was so loving to his parents. Never a day passed after he began to notice without those sweet little arms being thrown around his mother’s neck in loving confidence to receive the tokens of love and affection which was lavished upon him. A baby smile was always ready for Papa and a cheerful romp was ever awaiting for each brother and sister.

Ah sad mother, little did you think that God had only loaned the precious bloom/blossom to you for a season. If so would not every day of his sweet life been spent by you in supplication to spare, oh spare my darling child but Nov. the 4 1888. God said it is enough to release him from his sufferings, bring him home from that sinful sad world to one of love and truth. The dark Angel of Death came and with his sharp sickle, slay the body of my darling, but he could not harm the spirit for God had said it should return, the God that gave it. And we feel that he was bore away on the snowy wings of the Angel Band to his immortal home, then sorrow not Papa and Mama, may his death be but a [kiss?] that may bind you closer to the God which makes all things work together for good to them that love him.

Dear brothers and sisters remember how innocent and pure his sweet stay among us was and try to be prepared when the summons shall come for us that we may meet him at the beautiful Gate where he is waiting and watching for us. – Mother

My sweet little boy, there is no death. The grave is but a portal between us and the beautiful beyond. If we but knew how empty is the grave which we garnish with our flowers and water with our tears. If we could but know how narrow is the stream and thin is the cloud that separates the dead in Christ and those that live for him a little longer. If we could but hear the voices of loving ones in the Heavenly house unhindered by sinful flesh singing Redeeming love which we poor mortals do so poorly. Then sorrow as we might, it would not be as those who have no hope. In the deepest night the [?] would sing her song, in the blackest darkness, there would still be light in our homes. Then sleep dear child and rest.

For I know thou art with God.
Though pains of loneliness cross my breast
I know it is but the chastening Rod [?].

– Mother
November the 4th 1885

Dec. the 4 1885 – My sweet baby, one long and dreary month has passed without you. I have sought the sorrowing, I have watered thy little grave with my tears. The midnight hour has found me weeping over thy departure. But who or what can bring you back my darling. You have gone distant and live with the angels, while poor Mama grieves over you. The hours is so lonely, the days so long without my little Heavrin, no name is as sweet as thine children. And will I ever be reconciled this great sorrow. M.

The family photograph was taken about 1912 at Lum and Sarah’s home, 27 years after Heavrin died. A piece of paper in the back had names and question marks written by two different hands, one Marji’s. But neither give a for-sure order of names. I matched them up, again, as best I could, as shown below. I’d be thankful for any corrections to it. (Tap photos for a larger view.)

Also see my McDonald Family Tree and, for Marji’s recollections of her grandmother, see Sarah (Brogan) McDonald. Below are the original pages written by Sarah. Tap them for a larger view.