Register Registry

Monday it’s Chesney and Sinead’s wedding at the Register or Registry Office. Whichever, it didn’t happen. What a surprise – not!

I also felt like who cares as long as it gets over with. The whole will- they-won’t-they triangle with Daniel seems to have gone on forever. Then on the actual wedding day, I mainly thought please, let it end because my eyes hurt looking at the dresses.

Those dresses were truly a marvel of tacky. They out-tackied Beth and Kirk’s wedding, where the theme was ’80s tacky. For Sinead’s day, Beth’s dress set the bar high. No other outfit could compete with that wall of sequins. The guests’ hats and accessories were back-up singers for the soloist of bling.

Sinead didn’t do bling with her dress. It would have been better if she had. At least it would have matched Beth’s. Instead, Sinead went retro-flower child. Absolutely the most hideous thing I have ever seen.

When she and Beth came out the door, I didn’t know where to look. Beth’s dress was physically painful to look at, and Sinead’s was aesthetically painful. It was “ouch” followed by “WTF???”

So, good call on the costumes. But the rest of the wedding? It fell flat for me. All the components were there. The bride turning up late enough to cause worry. Threats of disruption, actual disruption, tears and confusion.

Components of a Corrie wedding

There was also the funny chatter among the guests, including a running joke. This one was about whether it’s Registry or Register Office. Ok, I googled it.  Officially it is the Register Office, commonly called the Registry Office. But no reason was given for several pairs of wedding guests to all have this linguistic quibble at once. The only explanation I could think of was this had been a debate at the writers’ table and someone said ‘we could write that in!’ Yes, you could. You could also write in an explanation so that we all get the joke.

I hadn’t really thought about Corrie weddings having definable elements, until I saw them. And that’s it – you shouldn’t see them. This was like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces weren’t cut smoothly. They fit together but the joins are visible.

The new production team at Coronation Street can do a wedding properly. Aiden and Eva’s wedding had all the elements I mention. But the pieces were stitched together well so the seams didn’t show. The whole hung together as perfectly as Eva’s wedding dress. Sinead and Chesney’s? More like Sinead’s wedding outfit, I fear. The elements are there, but they don’t match.